Should I Move to Tokyo?

I was joking when I said that I wanted to get a driving license so that I could start running over people on the road. But after my first lesson I think I am really going to be the kind of driver that runs over people on the road!

I can’t believe myself! I thought it was going to be fun. I was so excited to start my lesson…. I never thought I would end up being so terrified! God, help me! My driving was so bad even my tutor was compelled to try reverse psychology on me, not just once or twice! But four times! Four freaking times! Every time he started telling me how well I was doing when I knew very very well that I was no where near “doing well” I felt like shouting at him “Shut up! Do you think I don’t know reverse psychology when I hear one?!!”

Seriously, after one and a half hour of panicking I was ready to quit driving and move to Tokyo where I could rely on bullet trains for the rest of my miserable life.

But honestly, I want a big birthday present for myself this year! I want it so very bad that I dream about it every day. I mean seriously, I am turning 28 this year and I have yet many milestones to achieve. Since I am no where near “being married” – I guess getting a driving license and my own car this year could at least count as a achieving something, even though it’s a very very small milestone…

Please tell me the panicking is normal. I really don’t want to have anxiety disorder in my long list of personal defects. I have no money for Xanax. All my money is tied up in my Myvi or Viva Fund.

Random Act Of Bookcrossing Kindness

Okay everyone this is the second batch of my RABCK. So far only two books have been taken from my first RABCK. I am very disappointed. Very very disappointed. The Brave New World no longer has time for books. It’s sad. Dear world, please wake up. Stop amusing yourself to death.

New Free books List….

Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
This book was inspired by a diary left by a dead girl. The book was published in 1971 and told the story of a troubled teenager who died of drug overdose. Because Go Ask Alice includes profanity as well as relatively explicit references to runaways, drugs, sex, and rape conservative parents and activists have sought to remove it from school libraries. Bans started in the 1970s: Kalamazoo, Michigan in 1974, Saginaw, Michigan in 1975, and Eagle Pass, Texas and Trenton, New Jersey in 1977 through removal from local libraries. Other libraries in New York (1975), Ogden, Utah (1979), and Florida (1982) required parental permission for a student to check out the book. Additional bans occurred in 1983 in Minnesota and Colorado, 1984 in Mississippi, and 1986 in Georgia and Michigan. Also, in 1993 in New Jersey and West Virginia, 1994 in Massachusetts, 1998 in Rhode Island, 2003 in Maine, and in Feb 2007 Berkley County School District in South Carolina. The American Library Association listed Go Ask Alice as number 23 on its list of the 100 most frequently challenged books of the 1990s. The book was number 8 on the most challenged list in 2001 and up to number 6 in 2003. The dispute over the book’s authorship does not seem to have played any role in these censorship battles.

Wild Animus by Richard Shapiro
I’ve got 3 promotional copies of this book. I want to give all away. All copies are mass paperbacks. I didn’t read the book all the way to the end. I did try hard enough to reach the middle of the book because I felt that I owe it to the author who was kind enough to give me 5 promotional copies (I gave the other two away). I find the book to be a bit painful to read. The author was trying to hard to be profound – it’s excruciating! I would like to compare it to Murakami’s Wild Sheep Chase but not because it’s anywhere near Murakami’s brilliant masterpiece but because it was trying too hard to be like the Wild sheep Chase. The book is like a very self indulgent version of Murakami’s Wild Sheep Chase. Overall, I think it’s shallow and self indulgence. I think Shapiro should sober up before he attempts another book.

But some people did enjoy the book. I might be biased because I didn’t even give the book a chance to grow on me. So you people should give this book a chance.

The Man Who Ate Everything by Jeffrey Steingarten
I bought this last year. It’s a book about food. So it’s not really my cup of tea.

Mobius Dick by Andrew Crumey
I tried reading this book after the finishing the Twilight Saga. This is the kind of book that I usually enjoy. It is rated with four stars in Amazon. But I just can’t seem to bring myself to love it. Twilight is evil.

Okay, I am actually too busy to list more books. I will get back to this later. In the meantime, here’s my old list.

1. Broadcasting, Cable, the Internet and Beyond: An Introduction to Modern Electronic Media, Joseph R Dominick BCID: 316-7235744 | Amazon Review

2. Computing Today w/ Student CD, Timothy O’Leary, Linda O’Leary BCID: 114-7235769 | Amazon Review

3. Using Information Technology: A Practical Introdution to Computers & Communications, Fifth Edition, Brian K. Williams, Stacey Sawyer, Brian Williams BC-ID 994-7235784 | Amazon Review

4. Mathematics for Elementary Teachers: A Conceptual Approach, Albert B. Bennett, Ted Nelson, BC-ID 524-7235791 | Amazon Review

5. Little Women (Wordsworth Collection), Louisa May Alcott BC-ID 206-1001045

6. Cold Mountain : A Novel, Charles Frazier BC-ID 956-1296100 | Amazon Review

7. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams BC-ID 587-1848103 | Amazon Review

8. I Never Promised You a Rose Garden, Joanne Greenberg BC-ID 349-2087123 | Amazon Review

9. Crooked Little Heart, Anne Lamott BC-ID 649-1914782 | Amazon Review

10. High Fidelity, Nick Hornby BC-ID 461-1895709 | Amazon Review

11. Neuromancer (Remembering Tomorrow), William Gibson BC-ID 726-1777689 | Amazon Review

12. The Crazed, Ha Jin BC-ID 172-1714005 | Amazon Review

13. The Time Traveler’s Wife, Audrey Niffenegger BC-ID 491-7237418 | Amazon Review

14. Speak Softly She Can Hear, Pam Lewis BC-ID 195-7237431 | Amazon Review

15. Wilderness Tips, Margaret Atwood BC-ID 888-1533901 | Amazon Review

16. Jitterbug Perfume, Tom Robbins BC-ID 542-1697698 | Amazon Review

17. Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life’s Greatest Lesson, Mitch Albom BC-ID 326-996092 | Amazon Review

18. You Shall Know Our Velocity, Dave Eggers BC-ID 872-998475 | Amazon Review

19. Wishful Thinking, Melissa Hill BC-ID 654-7237452 | Amazon Review

Updates -Reserved Books

1. Speak Softly, She Can Hear – Pam Lewis (for Dayang Marni – Facebook Request)
2. Go Ask Alice – Anonymous (for Dayang Marni – Facebook Request)
3. The Time Traveller’s Wife – Audren Niffenegger. (for CT)
4. I Never Promised You A Rose Garden – JoAnne Greenberg. (for CT)

The Stupid Things We Tell Our Children

In year three, I wrote a screenplay for a short film. It was inspired by the stupid stuff my parents told me when I was a kid and my parents told me a lot of stupid stuff.

When I was five one of my parents somehow successfully convinced me that I have a huge worm in my ear and that the worm dug a tunnel through my brain so that it could travel from one ear to another. They told me that because I refused to let them pick my ears and they let me believe that I really do have a worm in my ears until I was old enough to know that it was one of the tricks in their Parenting 101 Manual, Cool Trick Number 3, page 1, If Your Child Refuse To Do Something, SCARE THEM SHITLESS BY TELLING THEM HORROR STORIES THAT WILL SCAR THEM FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES!

I am looking forward to the day when I get to execute that trick I learned from my Parenting Your Parent 101 manual. The day when I get to tell my dad a horror story that sounds like “Dad, if you don’t eat your medication you’ll get sick again and your new wife will leave you to die all alone covered in your own piss”.

Okay, I am kidding. I grew up with a father whose idea of cool jokes were trying to drown me and my brother in a swimming pool and throwing marbles to my head when I wasn’t looking. So it’s only fair that I get to make this kind of jokes behind his back because whatever’s faulty in my head I am sure I got it from him.

I am sorry about this post. This is my way of shaking off the edge of my frustrations. I write and I write about stupid stuff that will surely make me look bad.

The Morning News

When I was queuing for food this morning two girls cut into the queue right in front of me. I looked at both of them and felt an enormous sadness for them. Even my eight year old cousin knows the concept of queuing. It’s one of those things that got drilled into your head in school. As for those girls it was pretty obvious that their parents didn’t have any money to send them to any school. Not even Sekolah Pondok. I felt so sorry for them. So I suppressed the urge to shove my handbag up their throats!

When the two girls were gone with their five Tapaus, My nose caught the smell of a familiar perfume. I stepped closer to the uncle in front of me trying to confirm that the smell came from him. when I was absolutely sure, I turned to my cousin who was queuing behind me and whispered “Hey this uncle is wearing the same perfume that I am wearing now!” and my cousin answered “Yeah, like you’re the only one who could afford to buy the perfume..”

And I was like “But, But, But…… It’s a girl’s perfume!!!!!!!!!!

Afterward I have this strong urge to tap on the uncle’s shoulder and say “Dude, do you know that you’re wearing Jennifer Lopez’s Still???”. Luckily, I wasn’t loony enough this morning to relent to this self-destructive urge of mine or I would’ve walked away from that canteen with a broken nose.

Drag Me To Hell

If idea was to make the audience feel like they’ve gone to hell and back, then I think they succeed. Unfortunately I am no longer a big fan of horror. I think they overstepped the line when they killed that little kitten. After that I was like “okay woman, now I don’t even give a damn if you end up rotting in hell next to the likes of Courtney Love”. But I digress…

If horror is your thing, you might enjoy this movie. But I got to warn you about the eww factor, the movie makes Fear Factor seems like a harmless child’s play. Just thinking about the movie now gives me a gag reflex! I don’t know if all the grossness were intentional, but Ewww Mr. Raimi you are gross!

Anyway the movie gave me this insane idea. I remember one chapter in Wally Lamb’s She Come Undone where the Dolores described how she lost so much weight. She said her secret was maggots. Every time she had to eat she would imagine very vividly that her food was covered with live maggots! If she was eating an apple she would imagine that the apple was rotten and there were maggots crawling all over the apple. This made her lose her appetite thus helping her with her weight loss. To be able to do this one must have a very vivid imagination. Those with poor imagination would never be able to pull this off but who needs imagination when we could have people like Sam Raimi to do it for us? All you need is an iPod, just put Drag Me To Hell in your iPod and you’re good to go. Every time you have the insane craving to eat something – just play the movie and fast forward to the grossest scene in the movie (you can have up to about five scenes to pick from – but my fav. is the scene in Sylvia Garnish home, even thinking about it now makes me gag!), I could guarantee that you would not feel like eating anything afterward! We could call this the Drag Me To Hell DietTM. It’s ridiculous, but hey! they let Carmen Electra make that Strip Tease Workout Video! Ridiculous is really fashionable these days! In fact ridiculous is the new PINK.

Overall the movie is OKAY. It has an old horror movie feel to it. But unlike those old horror movies that usually comes with a PG-18 warning, this movie is more viewer friendly, meaning there is no sexual or explicit scenes in this film and you could definitely let your children watch this if you don’t mind about paying for the endless therapy sessions they’re definitely going to need later.

The movie reminds me of the old horror movies my cousin and I used to watch when we were little. One of the adults would sit with us for screening purpose meaning every time when there’s an “adult” scene, the adult would scream “Alert! Children close your eyes and no peeking!” and we would obediently close our eyes tightly and held our breaths until we were told it was already safe to open our eyes.

But of course, I would be lying if I say that we did not take a sneak peek at all.

Painful Revelation

The worst part about being a government servant is the part when you realized that closest you’ll ever get to the dream of owning your dream home is when you’re playing The Sims at 3.00am in the morning and you just hit the cheat code jackpot and made your SIMS character a multi-millionaire.

It’s a sad sad revelation.

09.09.09

I finally got the chance to see Coraline last week and thought that it must be the best and the most eerie animated film of 2009. But I was wrong. The best is yet to come. I stumbled upon this trailer today…

Tim Burton is hands down my favourite visionary filmmaker of all time! His works are so unique that I could recognize his signature theme from a mile away. He is famed for all his morbid and quirky films like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Edward Scissorhands, Corpse’s Bride, The Nightmare Before Christmas and Sweeney Todd. This year, he joined forces with Timur Bekmambetov (another one of my fav. filmmakers) to produce what could be the most mind-blowing sci-fi animation of the year!

9 is a distinctively original and thrilling tale written by wunderkind director Shane Acker. The film stars Elijah Wood, John C. Reilly, Jennifer Connelly, Martin Landau, Christopher Plummer and Crispin Glover and features the music of Danny Elfman. When 9 (The Lord of the Ring’s Elijah Wood) first comes to life, he finds himself in a post-apocalyptic world. All humans are gone, and it is only by chance that he discovers a small community of others like him taking refuge from fearsome machines that roam the earth intent on their extinction. Despite being the neophyte of the group, 9 convinces the others that hiding will do them no good. They must take the offensive if they are to survive, and they must discover why the machines want to destroy them in the first place. As they’ll soon come to learn, the very future of civilization may depend on them.

Yeah, it’s very much like Terminators minus the humans. But we are talking about Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov here, I doubt that we would get anything less than original storytelling here. Not to mention the mind-blowing CG that has become Burton’s unique signature. Just imagine a morbid CG version of Wanted – minus Angelina Jolie’s boobs, of course.

It’s going to be brilliant. I can’t wait for September!