Medals

I don’t regret the painful times; I bare my scars as if they were medals. – Paolo Coelho

The stars above may be nothing but replicas of the sun that scorched our skins. But from far away the stars look like some kind of magical fairy dust shining down from heaven.

Things tend to look perfect when they’re far away and out of reach. This is also true when it comes to painful times. Looking back, everything may appear to be clearer than they were when they happened. Memories have a way of making things appear brighter and better than the present. It’s really amazing what time and distance could do to our perceptions. When you have given it enough time, from a distant even the ugliest of scars could glitter like diamonds.

When I was young…

When I was young I thought I had what it takes to be more than anyone around me. I always thought that I could be better than all the people I know. I thought I had it in me to be more than just ordinary.

And then suddenly life happens. Suddenly I realized that I am not young anymore. One day I just woke up and realized that I have become what the younger version of myself never thought I could be.

I have become ordinary.

But it is not as bad as I thought it would be.

Dilemma

I have a dream. I want to try living overseas for a year or two. But the thing is to be able to do that, I need to be somewhat financially independent first. I have no mortgage to pay and I could always sell the car. But I have these two personal loans that I made years ago to pay for my studies. If I could settle these two debts, I could probably be somewhat financially ready to just drop everything and move to another country… I could achieve this if I sell the apartment that my mother left me and used the money to pay up the loans and use the rest for emergency funds just in case I don’t get a job immediately…..

I could already hear a few people complaining about what a lousy idea this is. This idea sounds rather insane isn’t it?

I wish there is a way to pursue my dream without sacrificing my one and only inheritance.